Between The Cracks
by Caitlin2009
Summary: The glee club blames Rachel for Kurts sudden death, she is unable to remember what happened to him, what will happen when she finally does remember? will it lead to her death as well?
1. Chapter 1

Between The cracks

Authors note:

This is my first ever Glee fan fic, was inspired by a dream i had which woke me up in tears and feeling like I did something wrong. This story is based on before Kurt came out of the closet so if your wondering why he's having sex with a woman, there's your answer lol. Flashbacks with this story will be _**written like this so you don't get confused**_ . This story is purely fiction, I unforchuntly do not know anybody from Glee, unforchuntly i do not own them...would be interesting if i had Lea and Heather tied up in my room...ehem...but nevermind...on with the story.

Hugging her school books to her chest, Rachel stared blankly down the hallway walking towards the choir room. To the one room that once brought her so much joy and happiness, now it just brought more painful memories for her, more of an empty void that singing couldn't even fill. Unknowingly she stepped into the room and took her seat, she barely noticed the loud chatter among the other Glee members of course she barely noticed anything anymore, this last year had been such a blur to her she couldn't remember much of anything. Not even the accident that happened last year this very day, she knew he was gone but couldn't remember how.

"Alright settle down, everybody' Mr. Shue walked into the room setting his briefcase on the piano. 'We have Regionals to prepare for, and we only have a few months left."

Puck raised his hand. "Do we really have to? Today's the anniversary Kurt died, I'm not sure anybody is feeling up to singing."

Mr. Shue sighed. "I know, but do you think Kurt would have wanted you guys to sit on your butts so you could lose Regionals?' Everybody nodded no. 'Didn't think so, thats why I have the perfect selection for all of you. Were doing a tribute to Kurt by doing songs of his favorite artists."

The guys groaned but giggled at the same time, mainly because Kurt loved Broadway show tunes especially Patty Lapone. Mercedes smiled with tears in her eyes. "You can count on me Mr. Shue.' She sniffled a few tears. 'I miss him so much. I wish he was here."

Mr. Shue smiled and handed her a tissue. "He is here in his own way, he always will be."

Britney suddenly look around the room. "You mean he has a hidden camera watching us?" everybody groaned.

Santana wrapped her arms around Britney smiled and said. "I'll explain it later to you sweety.' She then looked at Rachel who was still blankly looking at the floor and sneered. 'Mr. Shue, did any of Kurts Idol's ever go to jail?"

Not liking where this was going Mr. Shue sighed. "Not that I know of, why?"

"Because instead of artists Kurt admired, we should do artists that have a criminal record, considering we have our own criminal sitting among us.' At these words Rachel visibily flinched, everybody looked at her and glared. 'Especially artists that kill there best friends."

"I...didn't kill Kurt." Rachel said quietly, tears springing to her eyes.

"Oh no?' Quinn said jumping in. 'Then what happened to him?" She raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

Rachel tried to get her breathing and tears under control. "I...I...told you many times...I don't remember."

"How conveniant of you not to remember, especially after what he told you before you pushed him! We all knew his secret before you did, and when he finally told you...you FUCKING KILLED HIM!" Mercedes shouted before bursting into a flood of tears.

"THATS ENOUGH!' Mr. Shue shouted slamming down his briefcase. 'NOW WE ALL HEARD THE POLICE REPORT A YEAR AGO, RACHEL WAS CLEARED OF DOING ANYTHING WRONG. IT WAS ACCIDENT. INSTEAD OF BADGERING HER YOU COULD AT LEAST HELP HER OUT, WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE FAMILY. THAT'S WHAT GLEE CLUB IS ALL ABOUT!"

Santana sneered again and shook her head. "Yeah well, when Rupaul suddenly finally "remembers" what she did to Kurt, maybe we'll let her back in the family."

With a sob Rachel got up and ran from the room slamming the door behind her. "Rachel! Wait!' Mr. Shue turned back at the group with a glare. 'I hope your all proud of yourselfs. Right now I want you guys to go home, right now I'm so angry i can't stand to look at you never mind teach you. Glee club will be closed until you all decide whats more important, harrassing someone without knowing the full story, or family!"

Mercedes jumped up. "But what about Regionals, we have to practice!"

"Believe it or not, that's not important right now. When you decide whats more important then we'll talk." Mr. Shue stormed out of the room, leaving the rest of them speechless

"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Curled up in a fetal position on her bed sobbing her heart out, Rachel tried to recall what happened to Kurt but the more she tried the more closed off the memories got. She had tried numerous things to get her memory back including her dads sending her to a therapist but it didn't help , it only made her feel worse and made the memories lock up even more.

"FUCKING HELL! REMEMBER DAMN IT!' Screaming loudly as she slammed her fist into her pillow. 'Why can't i remember anything?' Looking up at her ceiling she shouted. 'Damn it Kurt, if you loved me you would help me remember something! ANYTHING! People hate me because of what happened, and the more i try the more I cant remember so please help me!" Covering her hands with her face as a fresh new round of tears sprung to her eyes and down her cheeks, suddenly something flashed in her mind and she stopped crying and watched the memory come before her

"_**It feels good to be in your arms, I feel so safe and warm." She kissed Kurt's cheek and snuggled into his arms more.**_

_**Kurt smiled he felt the same as well, but something seemed off like it was missing, shrugging it off he snuggled even closer to Rachel and kissed her forhead. "Is there anything you wanna do today, like go out to the mall, or take a walk?"**_

"_**Hmm, maybe a little bit later we can ask my dads if they can take us to the beach, havent been there in ages and I wanna get my feet wet and show people my boyfriend who I love so much."**_

"_**So, you wanna make people jelous and sad they don't have anybody and go home to drink? And say "Whyyyyy can't I get a mannnn waaaaaah' " Kurt raised his eyebrow and tried to look stern but she could see he was trying not to laugh**_

_**Rachel giggle. "Yeaaaah!"**_

"_**Oh ok, fair enough.' Kurt started giggling as well. 'Dork."**_

"_**Uh huh, but I'm your dork. Now shut up and kiss me, I haven't seen you in a week, we have some lost time to make up!"**_

_**Kurt's dad decided to take him on a week long trip before school started, something he never did as Burt never wanted to leave his shop behind because he didn't trust anybody to run it except himself, Kurt shrugged it off and went anyway to which they had a blast at Disney World no less, which surprised Kurt even more considering Burt had always told him there wasent the money to go there but somehow he scraped up enough money to go this time. Rachel waved her hand in front of Kurt's face, he blinked and looked at her. "Huh? Sorry about that, I was just thinking."**_

"_**Ya know thats very dangerous to do." Rachel giggled.**_

"_**Hmm, maybe so but not as dangerous as your kisses.'With that Kurt brought his face to Rachel's and kissed her hard, Rachel moaned a little and granted his tongue access into her mouth, kissing hard there tongues fighting for space, Kurt guided his hand to where he could see Rachels belly and started rubbing that slowly, causing her to moan a little louder. Kurt could feel his pants getting tighter he leaned in and whispered in her ear. 'Rach, I know you said you wanted to wait until marriage but this feels right and I wanna make love to you."**_

"_**Then do it! If there was anybody I would want to lose my virginity to it would be you, and I want you now!' With those words Kurt laid on top of Rachel, pressing himself into her to show how hard he was. 'Oh god, I want your hard dick inside me baby!"**_

_**Grabbing her he turned her head to expose her neck and bit it really hard causing her to moan loudly, he then started sucking really hard on the area he bit, causing it to bruise. With one swift motion he took off her shirt and bra and tossed them on the other side of the room, started kissing and biting her chest, her moans echoing throughout the house, he pulled her into his lap and started grinding himself into her the friction made him moan loudly as wel. "Oh god Rachel! Shit this feels good."**_

"_**Uh huh!' Was all she could manage before moaning loudly again as he ground into her faster, dipping her he slid his tongue down her body sliding his tongue in and out of her belly button sucking on it. 'Oh shit Kurt, just like that baby!" He nibbled around her belly button before sliding his tongue back up her body, swirling his tongue around her nipples and sucking on them. Rachel slid her hands under the hem of Kurts shirt and took it off also throwing it across the room, she slid her hands all over his body, every touch causing shivers throughout his body.**_

"_**God Rachel! Feel how hard I am for you.' Rachel slowly slid her hands down his body, rubbed his treasure trail a little before grabbing his entire crotch and squeezing it hard 'SHIT! Do that again baby!" She did just that, slowly she started to unzip his pants Kurt thought he would explode with just Rachel doing that, when the zipper was fully down Rachel reached in and started to stroke him through his underware, causing a very loud moan from him.**_

"_**I see your having a little trouble there.' Rachel purred squeezing his dick hard, Kurt could only nod. 'Well let me help you with that baby." Rachel unsnapped his jeans, took them off and threw them across the room, she could see his swollen member trying to break through his underware, she leaned in and ran her tongue along the outline of it.**_

_**Kurt gasped and tried desperately not to cum just yet. "Rachel thats just mean, please suck on my cock baby I wanna feel your mouth on me.' Smirking Rachel pulled his underware down and wordlessly grabbed his penis and shoved it inside her mouth deep throating it. 'JESUS CHRIST! FUCK!" Rachel pumped his cock up and down with her mouth, while rubbing and squeezing his balls from time to time. She then slid her tongue up to the tip of his dick and gently started sucking on the tip of it.**_

_**If Kurt didnt do something soon he was gonna cum and he didn't wanna do that just yet, he stop her and pinned her down on the bed french kissing her hard, and without any words whipped down her pants and underware, and slid two fingers inside her causing her to scream loudly. "Mmm your so wet baby, whatever shall I do about that." Kurt smirked and pumped his fingers in and out of her slowly, Rachel growled and glared at him.**_

"_**I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP AND FUCK ME HARD, GOD DAMN IT!' Kurt growled and with one swift motion he joined them together causing a loud moan from the both of them. 'SHIT!' Slowly Kurt started going in and out, making himself go in deeper with each thrust. 'Oh thats it baby, oh god go faster!" He did, there screams and moans echoing throughout the room, Rachel then grabbed Kurt and made him lay down on his back, then slid herself back on his dick and began riding him hard.**_

"_**OH GOD RACHEL! FEELS SO GOOD!" As she was doing that, he reached up and started rubbing her clit hard.**_

"_**YES BABY! LIKE THAT.' Rachel could feel the orgasm starting to build and she knew it was coming quick. 'Oh god I'm gonna cum!' A few seconds later both of there orgasms crashed into one another, Rachel collapsed onto Kurts chest, both of there hearts thundering in there chests, when they caught there breaths Rachel looked Kurt in the eyes and kissed him. 'Thank you, that was wonderful. I love you so much!'**_

"_**I love you too!" Kurt kissed her back, Rachel smiled laid her head on Kurt's chest and fell asleep. Kurt laid there holding Rachel with a frown on his face, okay that felt good but not as it should, Kurt wondered what the hell was wrong with him, it felt good but something felt off about it. He couldn't wrap his brain around it at the moment, so he shrugged it off and went to sleep.**_

Rachel blinked as the memory faded away, how did she even forget that memory? It was one she told herself she wouldn't forget, so what made it get lost like her other memories. Rachel didn't realise as she was watching the memory play in her head, she had pulled her pants off and was playing with herself. "Hmm, might as well finish this off." She started rubbing her clit furiously, moaning Kurt's name over and over again until she came all over her hand, when the sensations subsided she fell asleep dreaming of something she would never remember in the morning


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When school ended the next day, Finn waited anxiously at Rachel's locker, he needed to talk to her. He had been wanting to this for the last couple of months but since he was dating Quinn who blamed Rachel she refused to let him, she had always hated Rachel and this was the perfect opportunity to make Rachel more miserable, but not anymore Finn wanted to help Rachel. Secretly he loved her but was afraid to tell her, and it broke his heart seeing her so lost and confused, his heart fluttered when he finally saw her walk down the hallway, seeing how heart broken she was really tore him up inside.

"Hey Rachel!" Finn smiled at her but she refused to him in the eye, she opened her locker and shoved her books inside

"If you have come here to yell and harass me, I don't want to hear it. I've had enough of that already..."

"No, I haven't, Rachel I just wanna know what happened." He jumped a mile when she slammed the locker shut loudly.

"Don't you think I wanna know myself? DO ANY OF YOU HAVE A CLUE OF HOW MUCH I TORTURE MYSELF EVERYDAY TO REMEMBER? DO YOU? I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING KNOWING I DREAMT OF WHAT HAPPENED BUT I CANNOT REMEMBER! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS, FINN?' As she was yelling she started backing him into a corner until his back hit the wall, he had never seen her so angry or distraught like this before. 'SURE IT'S HARD ON YOU GUYS LOSING YOUR BEST FRIEND, BUT I LOST MY BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVED, WHO I GAVE MY VIRIGINITY AND MY HEART TO! ' Rachel started beating her fists on Finn's chest. 'IT'S NOT FAIR THAT YOU ALL BLAME ME, I COULD USE HELP, I LOST SOMEONE I LOVE AND I CANT REMEMBER, I CANT FUCKING REMEMBER!" Rachel burst into a flood of tears sobbing her heart out, Finn pulled her into a tight hug trying not to cry himself.

"Shh, it's alright.' Finn soothed rubbing her back. 'I'm here, I'm sorry I didn't help you sooner. But I will help you remember I promise.

"It hurts, Finn! Just wanna remember and make it stop! I can't stand people hating me anymore!"

"We'll find out together, don't you worry." Finn kissed the top of Rachel's head, for the first time in a year she smiled properly.

"FINN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Upon hearing Quinn's voice, Finn tensed up and Rachel held him closer. "I'm giving Rachel a hug, she needs one. And im gonna help her remember what happened to Kurt if thats okay with you." He growled the last couple of words which took Quinn by surprise for a second, then smirked.

"Look sweetie, I know you wanna help her, but the only thing you can help her with is how to be man as she's half way to looking like one anyway. And plus you can't help a killers memory they just refuse to remember." Quinn laughed, and Finn felt Rachel start shaking, both of them were surprised when Finn slammed Quinn against the locker making her look him in the eyes.

"Now...I've had enough of this shit you little bitch!"

Quinn looked at him like a deer caught in headlights, the fear was written all over her face. "Finn...your scaring me!"

"Good! Now shut the fuck up and listen!' Quinn jumped a little but didn't say a word. 'I am done with you, do you understand me? Rachel is already beating herself up over this she doesnt need you to do it for her. What the hell have you done to help her remember, huh? She is in pain but nobody seems to notice because they are too busy blaming her instead of finding out the truth. Do you even care about anybody but yourself, Quinn?"

"Y-y-yes...I care about you. I always have!"

"No you dont, to you i'm just a trophy boyfriend to make yourself more popular. I should have realised that from the beginning.' Quinn let a few tears stream down her face, Finn just smirked. 'Good. Cry, cry the tears Rachel has been crying for a year, and see how it feels to be so isolated. Were done.' He finally let go of Quinn who ran sobbing into the girls bathroom, he looked at Rachel, smiled and took her hand. 'Come on we got some work to do."

Confused Rachel asked. "Where are we going?"

"To Mr. Shue's house, I know he can help somehow." Hand in hand they walked out of school to find the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Will Shuester was in the middle of grading papers when he heard a knock on the door, frowning wondering who it was he got up and looked through the peep hole, he smiled before he opened the door. "Finn? Rachel? What brings you two over here?"

Finn guided Rachel to the living room by her shoulders and sat her down on the couch, Rachel just looked at the floor, she knew everybody hated her at the moment and wondered if Mr. Shue felt the same. "Mr. Shue, we need your help, Rachel needs to remember what happened to Kurt. I can't stand seeing her like this, and I know she can't stand not remembering."

Will dropped to his knees in front of Rachel, and grabbed both of her hands. "Rachel, I want you to look at me."

"I can't...I know how much everybody in Glee club hates me...you must feel the same." Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, Will brushed them away before saying.

"I don't hate you, I never did. I've wanted to help you remember but you always said you could handle it."

Rachel cocked an eyebrow at him. "When did I say that? I don't remember ever telling you that."

"Rachel the month Kurt died I kept telling you I could help, but you never wanted it. After a few months I just gave up and thought you would come to me when you were ready."

Rachel bolted up from the couch and started pacing. "You have to believe me that I don't remember you ever telling me that! The few months after Kurt died I don't remember anything, for the most part its all a blur! Even now I sometimes go days without remembering what I did! Oh my god whats wrong with me?" She started breathing heavy and shaking, Finn came over to her and held her tight rubbing her back, she held onto him tightly never wanting to let him go.

"Rachel, come on breath honey! Please breath.' Finn smiled when Rachel took a deep breath. 'That's it, now let it out slowly and do this for a minute."

When she finally got her breathing under control she looked at Will. "I need your help, I wanna remember!"

Will, took her by the hand and led her to the couch again, he dropped to his knees again and said. "What's the last thing you remember from that night?"

Rachel thought really hard, closed her eyes and let a memory take hold

_**Rachel was laying in bed on her laptop when her phone rang, smiling she picked up. "Heeey baby!"**_

"_**Hey, Rach!' Kurt said trying his best to sound cheerful but with the news he had for her that was tough. 'Wanna go to party tonight?"**_

"_**Party? WE got invited to a party?" Rachel giggled a little.**_

"_**Yeah, Mercedes is throwing it. She invited us and a few of her friends from church. You wanna go with me?"**_

"_**Sure baby, you know I would. Any excuse to hang out with my soulmate I'm always up for.' Kurt flinched at the word soulmate, telling her was not going to be easy. Rachel frowned. 'Kurt? Baby you still there?"**_

"_**Huh? Oh yeah, just thinking again."**_

"_**Ya know, the last time you did that we made love, I can't wait to do that again baby."**_

_**Rachel giggled a little, and Kurt felt like crying he was very close to telling her on the phone but that wouldn't be right, it had to be in person. "Rachel, I'll pick you up at 8, that ok?"**_

"_**That's fine by me baby, I'll see you then. I love you!"**_

_**Once again Kurt flinched. "I, I love you too..." **_

_**Rachel hung up, bounded out of bed to her closet. She decided to wear the new outfit she bought, black short shirt that showed off her belly and hugged every curve she had, followed by black short skirt that barely covered her ass, and purple knee high boots. Might have been a bit much but she was horny and wanted to show him just how much she wanted him. An hour later she heard Kurt's car horn, she smiled and ran out the door.**_

_**Kurt's eyes got as wide saucers as he saw what Rachel was wearing, she looked hot and that made him feel even worse because he knew she dressed like that to impress him. Rachel hopped into the front seat and put her seatbelt on. "Hey baby! Come over here and kiss me." She gave him her best eyefuck.**_

_**Kurt gulped, she was not making this easy for him. "Wow, so demanding aren't we?"**_

"_**You better believe it, now shut the fuck up and kiss me!" She growled which sent shivers down Kurt's spine.**_

"_**Well alright then I will!' He growled back, he pulled her close to him and shoved his tongue down her throat, tongues fighting for space he felt her hand reaching for his crotch. He had to stop this before it got out of hand. 'Rachel, we can't do this here. We'll get caught and I prefer not to explain why were naked to a cop.' They both laughed for a little while, before Kurt started driving to Mercedes house. Rachel kept giving him side glances and he said. 'What?"**_

_**Rachel gave her best evil giggle before answering. "There's not gonna be any cops at the party, just to give you some warning I may pull you into a closet and fuck you silly!"**_

_**Kurt's eyebrows shot up, as guilty as he felt he laughed and said. "What has gotton into you?"**_

"_**I dunno, I just want you really bad baby!"**_

_**Kurt struggled to fight back tears. "I...um...want you to!" Rachel smiled. The rest of the drive was silent, Kurt needed to find a way to tell her he was gay.**_

"That's all I remember, the rest is just this big blur.' Finn coughed and adjusted himself, this wasent exactly the moment to get aroused but he couldn't help it, thinking of Rachel getting that way he longed for, for many years. Rachel looked at Finn and smirked when she noticed how turned on he was. 'You hornball!"

Finn blushed and looked sheepish. "Sorry, couldn't help it."

Rachel smiled for a second, then looked at Will and frowned again. "Can you help me remember the rest?"

"Rachel, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Good. Because I have a friend who is a therapist that can help you."

Rachel's shoulders dropped and she looked at the floor again. "I've already tried a few therapists. None of them did anything except make it worse."

"Yeah, but were any of them licensed Hypnotists?"

Rachel's eyes got huge and she nearly fell off the couch. "No! What does that have to do with anything?"

Will smiled. "I have a friend who's a therapist who specializes in cases like yours, he can hypnotize people and make them remember what happened. Are you willing to try that?"

Rachel bit her lip and thought about it for a minute. "Why not, I've tried everything else. Let's do it!"

"Great! Give me and him a few days to get information and we'll do this. Okay?"

Rachel pulled Will into a hug. "Thank you, Mr. Shue"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**Rachel lay in bed with a heating pad on her belly, she was having the worst cramps she ever had with a period. They would go away for a few hours and then start right back up again but with more force then before, no pain killer was even helping all Rachel could do was just lay in bed and let the pain go throughout her body**__**.**_

"_**Fuck! What the hell is this?' Rachel screamed as cramp ripped through abdomen, making her backache as well, she suddenly felt the sheets below her feel wet looking down she saw a huge puddle of blood where she was sitting. 'Oh god!' Quickly she ran to the bathroom, took off her pants and underwear and threw them in the laundry just as another painful cramp hit her. 'SHHIIITTTT! Oh god help me! Kurt if your with me please help me! I don't know what's going on!"**_

_**Within the next 10 minutes Rachel was hit with one cramp after another, each time more painful then the last, when it finally stopped she opened her eyes and to her horror she was sitting in a pool of her own blood. 'Oh my god...what happened?' Carefully she got up, grabbing the tub for support trying to catch her breath, all she wanted to do was lay down and sleep, but she had to clean up the mess before her dad's got home. She went to the laundry room and got the mop and bucket, she started mopping when she felt her foot brush up against something, she looked down and saw something that was barely the size of an egg. For a moment Rachel thought she passed a stone until she looked closely, she clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming then picked up the tiny object carefuly. 'Oh my god..."**_

Rachel sat up with a jolt, sweat pouring down her face. That had to be a random nightmare, no way she was pregnant a few months ago, or was she? She needed answers, and she needed them now. Few hours later her phone rang.

"Hey, Finn whats up?"

"Mr. Shue, just called me and said him and his friend were ready to see you, wanted to tell you I was gonna pick you up in a few minutes."

Rachel suddenly felt sick, she gulped before answering. "Alrighty, I'll meet you outside."

"You okay?"

"I don't know, but pick me up and lets do this before I change my mind.' Few minutes later they were off to Will's house, they pulled into the driveway and Rachel reluctantly got out of the car. 'Finn, I'm scared."

Finn squeezed her hand tight and kissed it. "Don't worry, were all here for you. It might be painful but were gonna help you remember." Finn knocked on the door

"Hey you two, come on in. Dr. Booker is waiting for you in the living room." Will guided them to the living room, where a middle aged was sitting in the chair holding a few envelopes.

"Hello. My name is John Booker. I hear your having trouble remembering, Rachel." They shook hands and Rachel nodded.

"I can't remember anything from the night Kurt died, or a few months after that."

"Hmm, well let's see if I can help with that.' He sat down in front of Rachel. 'I need you to trust me, can you do that?' Again Rachel nodded. 'Good, palm to palm put your hands on mine."

Rachel, did exactly that. Finn and Will stood by the doorway watching anxiously. "Now, I want you to look deep into my eyes, until I tell you otherwise.' Rachel stared into his eyes, the moment she did she felt her eyes being glued to his. 'In a moment I am going to count to 3. Press down on my hand and I'll be pressing up against your energy and simply follow my instructions instantly, do you understand?"

Rachel mumbled. "Uh huh." She felt like she was losing control of her body, but she knew she couldn't stop now.

"Alright, Rachel push as hard as you can after I count. 1….2…3!' Rachel pushed hard with all her might, with his other hand the Dr. Booker put it on Rachel's eyes, he then slowly and gently made her eyes close. 'now as you continue to press down on my hand I want you to develop a feeling in your eyes like your up much too late at night watching an old black and white movie, you should go to bed but you're just so tired. You feel your eyes so droopy …and closing….and drowsy….and….SLEEP !" Dr. Booker took his hands away quickly, Rachel just sat back on the couch with her eyes closed.

"Is she okay?" Finn asked worriedly.

John, and Will smiled. "She's fine son, she's just in a deep trance right now.' He looked at Rachel and in a low voice started talking to her. 'Rachel? It's Dr. John Booker, can you hear me?"

Rachel opened her eyes a little bit and muttered. "Yes."

"Good. I want you to go back to the night Kurt died, go back to the last thing you remember of that night, and then work your way to the end of when he died. Can you do that for me?"

Again Rachel muttered. "Yes. We finally got to the party, we could hear the loud music from outside…"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_**Rachel and Kurt walked hand in hand to the front door, Kurt rang the doorbell and a very hyper Mercedes opened the door.**_

"_**HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Come on in!" Mercedes squished them with hugs and pulled them inside.**_

_**Kurt raised his eyebrow at her. "Someone got into the liquor a little early, didn't you?"**_

"_**Oh shut up, I did not! You know how I get when I have my friends over and eat tons of candy. It' s not pretty!"**_

"_**Mercedes your such a dork, but I love you anyway." Rachel smiled and the two girls hugged again.**_

"_**Love you too, Rach. And girrrrllll what are you wearing? You trying to sell yourself to the nearest pimp?"**_

"_**Oh very funny, no I'm just trying to impress one guy.' She looked over at Kurt and again eyefucked him, he giggled nervously. 'Want some punch baby?"**_

"_**Uhh yes please!"**_

"_**Alright, be back in a second my love." Rachel gave him a sly grin, and walked slowly away while moving her hips back and forth.**_

"_**I'm going to guesse, that you haven't told her yet." **_

"_**No. I feel bad enough and then she goes and dresses like that to impress me, I don't know how to break it to her."**_

"_**Just tell her the truth."**_

_**Kurt sighed. "I wish it was that easy, she gave me her virginity...how the hell am I gonna tell her I'm gay when we had sex a week ago?"**_

"_**I dunno, that's up to you to decide." Mercedes walked away to mingle with the other guests, just as Rachel came back with punch for the both of them.**_

"_**Everything okay, baby?" Rachel asked handing him his punch.**_

"_**Oh yeah, just a little headache. I'll be fine though." Which wasen't a lie, Kurt had been experiancing a headache all day that was refusing to go away no matter what he did.**_

"_**Kurt, you have been getting those alot lately, have you seen the doctor?"**_

"_**I did the other day, and he couldn't find anything wrong with me. Said that was probably stress related and to try to cut back on it."**_

_**Rachel gave him a dirty smirk, grabbed his shoulders and brought him down to her level, she whispered in his ear. "Ya know they say sex can cure stress a little, lets go upstairs and give it a try."**_

"_**Rachel! We can't do that here! There's too many people here, what if someone hears us."**_

"_**That's the whole fun of it baby, live a little. Pleassseee!" Rachel gave him her best puppy eyes, he felt guilty but he couldn't deny her one last time before he told her.**_

"_**Alright, alright. Let's do it!' Rachel grabbed Kurt's hand and rushed them both upstairs, to her surprise but arousal he pushed her into the wall, and bit her neck causing her to moan loudly. 'Oh god Kurt!"**_

_**Kurt started roughly kissing her neck and chest, fumbling around with her skirt and panties trying to get them off while she was trying to get off his pants. "YOU WANT ME INSIDE YOU? YOUR GONNA HAVE TO FUCKING TELL ME!" He ground his hard dick into her and bit her neck really hard.**_

"_**FUCKING HELL! I WANT YOU INSIDE ME DAMN IT! NOW!' Kurt lifted up her leg, and with one swift motion pushed himself hard into her, causing both of them to gasp. Rachel made Kurt look at her. 'Kiss me baby, I love you so much, you feel so good inside me.' Kurt kissed her roughly there tongues fighting for space, with each thrust he made into her she moaned louder, until they both crashed into paradise, With his heart pounding and feeling more guilty then ever before, Kurt pulled up his pants. Rachel didnt notice the sad look on Kurt's face and again took his hand and said. 'What do you say we go back to my place and let the neighbors hear what you do to me."**_

_**At this point, Kurt had to tell her. "Rachel, I've gotta tell you something. And I'm not sure how to tell you." He started pacing back and forth down the hallway, Rachel was getting scared she didn't like the sound of that.**_

"_**What? Just spit it out and don't beat around the bush." She crossed her arms and tapped her foot a little.**_

"_**I'm gay."**_

_**Rachels eyebrows shot straight up, then she started giggling. "Are you playing some weird joke on me or something?' She stopped giggling when she knew he wasent laughing. 'Please, tell me your joking."**_

"_**I'm not. I am gay. I wasen't sure myself until I had sex with you last week, it felt good but it didn't feel right. That's when I went home and did a little research, even talked to my dad who knew I was gay this whole time."**_

_**Rachel was beyond furious, Kurt could see that in her eyes and he walked over to her and tried to hold her, but she pushed him away. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME ASSHOLE! YOU KNEW AFTER THE FIRST TIME AND INSTEAD OF COMING OUT AND SAYING IT THEN, YOU LEAD ME ON AND HAVE SEX WITH ME AGAIN! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"**_

_**Kurt tried to hold her again but she pushed him away once more. "Rachel please! I don't wanna end this on a bad note! I'm sorry! I really am! Shit my head!" Kurt's head started to throb more so then it ever did, he knew Rachel was still screaming at him but he could barely hear her, things were slowly starting to go dark, he tried to call out to Rachel but his voice had quit working.**_

"_**YOUR SORRY? DO YOU KNOW HOW INSENSATIVE YOU ARE YOU STUPID JERK? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURT ME?' Rachel had her back turned to him, so she didn't see he was in trouble. She got even more pissed off when he suddenly got quiet, raging she turned around and saw that he was staring into space not moving, she knew something was wrong besides her yelling at him. 'Kurt? Kurt this is no time for playing games.' She walked over to him and stood in front of him, she noticed his skin color had changed to a weird bluish tint and he was breathing hard, which terrified her. 'Kurt? What's wrong please answer me!' She shook him by the shoulders, as she did his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell down the stairs head first, he landed at the bottom with a sickening loud crack. "KURT! OH MY GOD KURT!' Rachel ran down the stairs, she tried not to vomit when she saw blood pouring out of his skull, she felt for his pulse and didn't find anything she then tried to perform CPR on Kurt's lifeless body. 'KURT! SOMEBODY HELP ME! CALL 911 KURT'S HURT! OH GOD BABY DON'T DIE ON ME PLEASE! BREATH! KURT PLEASE!"**_

"KURT! KURT!" Rachel screamed still in a trance, tears streaming down her face. Dr. Booker gently put his hands on Rachel's shoulders.

'Rachel, calm down honey! I need you to breath. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh huh..." Rachel took a few deep shaky breaths, Finn and Will stood in the doorway with there own tears streaming down there faces, no wonder she couldn't remember.

"Now, when I count to 3 and snap my fingers, Rachel you will come out of this and remember everything. Nothing will block your way from knowing the truth now. 1, 2, 3." He snapped his fingers, and Rachel opened her eyes fully, when she did Finn and Will rushed to her side.

"Rachel are you alright?" Finn asked

"No! I remember everything! Everything!' Rachel collapsed into Finn's arms and started sobbing. 'Oh god why couldn't I see he was in trouble? Why?"

"By the medical records that I have, with permission from Kurt's dad. There was nothing you would have noticed or could have done." John said looking over the documents one more time.

Rachel sniffed. "What do you mean?"


	7. authors note, please read

Heeeey everybody, I know I havent updated in awhile. I do apologize but theres a lot that's going on in my life right now and I havent had the time to update, but once things settle down a bit I will do so, meanwhile please be patient, and I'll have the next chapter up soon!


	8. Authors note: changing the story

im sorry guys, i keep meaning to update but life got in the way and i lost interest in updating this, for me its hard to do chapter stories so what im gonna do is fix up this story a bit and make it into a long short story so be patient with me, im sick at the moment but i will get on it soon! i promise


End file.
